One Great Season
These aren't entirely black, because, well, dressing monochromatically has never been cool regardless of the occasion. But here are the five best uses of black in sports uniforms:
- Pittsburgh Steelers — With the exception of the font type of the white jersey numbers, their home uniforms have stayed the same through the years. As much as I hated big, bad Pittsburgh as a kid, the black-on-gold has long been synonymous with success in the Steel City, at least during football season.
- Oakland Raiders — Sure the Raiders aren't what they used to be, but their uniforms are. Even if Oakland's next playoff contender is a finesse squad, there will still be an intimidation factor, and you can credit the silver-and-black scheme that reminds us of those rugged 1970s and 80s champions.
- Cincinnati Bearcats basketball — Under Bob Huggins, the Bearcats changed styles a couple of times in the mid-1990s. But right around when Kenyon Martin became a dominant player, UC picked a style that fit its personality perfectly. Simple, stylish, and lots of black. Even now, Cincy's road unis aren't too dissimilar to the ones they rocked a decade ago, and the italicized, forward-leaning font is a nice touch.
- San Antonio Spurs — Sure the Miami Heat are on everybody's minds and even the Chicago Bulls look good in their sometimes-black road uniforms. But you might be getting the sense that we like tradition here at OGS. When Tony Parker isn't sleeping with teammates' wives, he's sporting pretty much the same get-up George Gervin wore. Simple black and white tanks and shorts are the perfect contradiction to a sport that values flash and style. And for almost 15 years now, the Spurs have had the substance to back it up.
- New Zealand All Blacks — OGS doesn't follow rugby, but we know enough to know what a cool kit looks like. The All Blacks have a very simple top: The silver fern logo on the left breast and the Adidas sponsor logo on the right breast. The same logos are on the reverse sides on the shorts.
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The Worst:
- Duke Blue Devils basketball — OGS doesn't buy into the Duke hate. In fact, we have nothing but the utmost respect for the program. But the occasional black road uniforms are hideous. I remember having a conversation with a friend around 1990, about how I hoped Duke, Kentucky, Indiana and UCLA never changed their uniforms. Kentucky's subsequent uniforgasm was disgusting there for a few years. I wouldn't say Duke's addition of black is as bad, but it's not good either.
- Baltimore Ravens — Your defense has always been outstanding and you have the one of the most intimidating linebackers in the history of the NFL. But black and purple head to toe?
- Miami Sharks — Yes, a fictitious football team from a bad Hollywood movie makes the list. It's not that Dennis Quaid's and Jamie Foxx's Miami Sharks uniforms were too flashy or tacky or mixed with ill-matching colors, but they were actually far too boring. If there was some purpose to the understatement, why not just use UPC bar codes instead of jersey numbers?
- Virginia Tech Rivalry uniforms — Fortunately, the Hokies put these away after their season-opening loss to Boise State. Nike and its non-stop marketing machine missed on both Boise's and VaTech's kits that night, and has continued throughout the season to misunderstand what a football uniform is supposed to look like.
- Toronto Blue Jays — Are you more likely to compliment a stranger's throwback 1980s Blue Jays cap or the current black one with the blue and white "T" logo that signifies nothing? Same here. And the jerseys are worse.
