Bin Laden Killed: Who Said What On Twitter?

By JOHN P. WISE
One Great Season

The news of Osama bin Laden's death spread quickly thanks to cable televisio, the Internet and social media late Sunday night. In case you missed the fun on Twitter, here's a sampling:

+ @daveweigel: "2031: 'Dad, where were you when we learned bin Laden died?' 'Kids, I was saying stupid crap about it on Twitter.'"

+ @LisaHorne: "And thru this all, Khloe Kardashian is promoting her show while Bin Laden is now confirmed dead. HELLO?"

+ @AndyResnik: "The Indians are in first place AND Bin Laden is dead. #winning"

+ @j_cynic: "Well, this news is great and all, but I was kinda hoping Obama was going to announce the iPhone 5 would be available free to everybody."

+ @mccook2002: "Jim Tressel has known Bin Laden was dead for several weeks, but didn't know who to tell. #fakeBreaking"

+ @OfficialReview: "Who got the kill shot on Osama Bin Laden? I bet you guys it was Tim Tebow."

+ @rudygay22: "Ok so we killed Osama. Now all we have to do is find Waldo and Carmen San Diego! Then I will be impressed!! (LOL)"

+ @amiehartnett: "Al Qaeda is now listed as single♥ #FB #BinLaden"

+ @rustymillerap: "8 years to the day after "Mission Accomplished" speech ... Mission Accomplished."

+ @JimGaffigan: "In lieu of flowers Al Qaeda has asked that you buy tickets to one my shows http://tinyurl.com/6lnykv"

+ @HeyItsLiam: "FOX NEWS' TAKE: "African American Male in Washington Confesses to Murder of Elderly Man."

+ @amateurgourmet: "See what happens when you let gays serve in the military?"

+ @PimpBillClinton: "How much you wanna bet Sarah Palin's illiterate ass thinks the headlines read "Obama's Dead?"

+ @SteveNash: "Since we caught Osama do I still have to take my laptop out at security?"

+ @sportsbroad: "Damnit Georgia, THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD SELL BOOZE ON SUNDAYS"

+ @ramzyn: "Cause of death: American badassery"

+ @Bachscore: "Operation Drunken Revelry underway."

+ @Regnevelc: "@dennisdoddcbs bush gets the W and Obama gets the save."

+ @billmaher: "Somali pirates, Gaddafi's son, now bin Laden - do NOT fuck with Obama, he's Gangsta!!"

+ @raphiellej: "When those who did the job return all they should have to do in a drinking establishment is raise their hand. No wallet needed. We got you."

+ @mudd4goals: "This could be Twitter's finest moment. I'm loving everything coming across my timeline"

+ @OsamaBinIaden: "I hate the English and all but god damn Kate Middleton is gonna be a QILF"

+ @Mengus22: "I have a final exam in accounting at 9:00 am. I am going to fail. I don't care."

+ @chrisilluminati: "Ok, so seriously, who the fuck got thrown off Apprentice??"

+ @PeteAbe: "Transcript just in: Bin Laden: "Who is it? ... UPS? ... I didn't order anything from Amazon. ... Wait a second ... Oh, S... "

+ @SklarBrothers: "Great. He killed Bin Laden. But he's done nothing to fix BCS system. -- Fox News."

+ @LonelyTailgater: "Now that Bin Laden is dead, the title of World's Biggest Asshole has been transferred to Tom Sizemore."