Your Bucket List For 2010

By JOHN P. WISE
One Great Season

BROOKLYN -- Now that the final hours of the college football season are ticking down, I'd like you to know I'll be writing less about football and more about college basketball the next three months.

I'll certainly cover other sports and occasionally weigh in with some non-sports takes, and you should be seeing a few subtle, non-sports additions soon here on the pages of OGS.

And today I offer you one of these non-sports takes. It's your Bucket List for 2010. I'll try to do as many of these things if you try to do just a few:

+ Stop saying, "I know. I'm sorry. I've just been really busy." Do you know anyone who's not busy?

+ Start keeping your commitments. Call when you say you're going to call. If something comes up and you can't keep an appointment, call then, too. It's such an easy step, but can harm friendships if you're generally bad about this. If you're one of my guilty New York friends who casually says, "Ah, that's just how New Yorkers are," go fuck yourself. Having manners and being courteous and respectful are not quaint regionalisms.

+ Stop putting off calling your parents. And say "I love you" before they do once in a while.

+ Start watching hockey.

+ Fuck the weather; talk about something really personal with the stranger next to you on the bus. Tell the guy about your cheating spouse or how you feel guilty every day for leaving the scene of that accident years ago.

+ Make a handwritten list of unhealthy patterns in your life. Do you eat too much junk food? Are you a heavy drinker? Do you date the wrong people? Stop being in denial. Recognize what you're bad at and fix that stuff this year.

+ Start going to the gym you lazy sack of fat. Oh wait, that was intended just for me.

+ Stop telling grieving friends, "If there's anything we can do ..." Do they ever call in that favor? I realize your heart is in the right place here, but don't merely verbalize the offer; think of something nice to do and just do it.

+ Eliminate these words or phrases from your vocabulary when you're talking to friends: Reaching out, ramping up, we're very excited, circle back, peel off. You're at the bar; you're not on a conference call.

+ Track down that long-lost ex-girlfriend who got away. If she's still single after all this time, there's a chance she misses you, too. If she's married, she's probably miserable.

+ Stop saying "It's Monday" when a co-worker asks you how you're doing. The same applies to "It's Friday" and pretty much any other day of the week. Your mood should not be affected by what day it is.

+ Read fewer magazines and more books this year.

+ Figure out a new way to make money. Tap into your creative side; everybody has one. Can you write, draw, paint, sing? Maybe you can bake. Make some of those out-of-this world cookies only your family knows about, and start selling them to co-workers by the batch.

+ Quit telling your friends not to judge you. That's what adults do every day; they judge, discern and make choices accordingly. If you're a shitty friend who frequently flakes on plans, trust that I'll judge you as such and won't want to continue the friendship in this new year.

+ Don't be that guy who uses every weak pop cliche out there or misuses "literally" and "ironically." You. Do. The. Math. See what I did there?

+ Stop being annoying about coffee. "I haven't had my java" or "I could really use another hot cup of joe" are disgustingly weak things to say. If you like to drink coffee, then by all means, drink coffee. But please quit talking about drinking coffee and definitely stop using those terrible pet names for it.

+ Find your charitable side and make a few donations this year.

+ Take more chances in 2010. Most married couples you know got started with a nervous guy asking out a nice girl for the first time. And every business you see began when an aspiring entrepreneur took a huge leap of faith. The closer you get to the edge, the more alive you feel. At least that's how I explain my own neurotic behavior.
 
+ Make the effort. If you liked the song from that one commercial so much and for some reason it's nowhere to be found online, call Apple or Mercedes or Coca-Cola. Don't be lazy. Pull off the highway to get that perfect picture of the sun setting behind the barn off in the distance. Pursue more of the things that turn you on.

+ Send a handwritten love letter to somebody this year.

+ Travel to a city or country you've never visited. Learn about something other than Florida.

+ Stop spelling it "tonite." It astounds me how many of us trample all over the English language.

+ Buy some of my photography.