Cornell Is Cute, But Big Red No Match For Big Blue
Tuesday, March 23, 2010 at 12:41AM 
By BEN JACKEY
Special To One Great Season
I've always thought there would only be one instance in which I would turn to Flavor Flav for clarity. If for some reason I was running late to an appointment and my cell phone battery was dead and I forgot my watch at home, I’m pretty sure that, judging by the comically large timepiece adorning his neck/chest/lower abdomen, he could tell me what time it is. Well, amazingly, I turn to Flav on another subject –- Cornell basketball. Flavor’s words of widsom? Don’t believe the hype!
It's funny to me how when America latches onto a Cinderella, it seems to forget the carriage that got her to the dance was a frickin' pumpkin. That glass slipper is really a cheap pump from Payless made by Wizards of Waverly Place (look it up) and assembled with inferior materials. Apparently, at this ball, the punch is Jonestown Kool-Aid, and we all know how that ended. Yeeah Boy!
Whenever anyone talks about Cornell, all uneducated basketball fans immediately point to its January trip to Kansas. Yes, that game was close. Yes, a mid-major held its own against the nation's best. Yes, to the other "Greatest" Ali, Kansas was beatable. This is the same Cornell that lost to Seton Hall, was pounded by Penn and squeaked by Princeton twice before beating up on a quality Temple team and an atrocious Wisconsin team so far in the NCAA Tournament.
The pundits, novices and idiots (sometimes one in the same) have the axles wobbling on the Big Red bandwagon partly because it's being driven by a pasty-white, Ivy League, feel-good story. Plus, now the Big Red gets the chance to face Public Enemy No. 1: Kentucky. The minute they see me, fear me.
Cornell is to Kentucky what Mike and Mike are to good radio. Kentucky is just not likable outside the Commonwealth. Cue ignorant comments now:
+ John Calipari is a cheater. His two vacated Final Four appearances were due to Marcus Camby getting an agent and the NCAA Clearinghouse's botching of the Derrick Rose situation.
+ DeMarcus Cousins is a thug. How quickly we forget Chas MacFarland's attempt to behead him and Melvin Goins' attempt to de-ball him.
+ Kentucky fans are obsessive, obnoxious and lack class. OK, I have nothing to rebut that.
Ryan Wittman is tough and Cornell is very disciplined. The Big Red screens like crazy and they can shoot the lights out. They are a very good basketball team, but they are not Kentucky. Leave it to Flav to be the voice of reason.
Ben Jackey is a die-hard Kentucky fan living in Louisville.
Ben Jackey, Cornell, Kentucky, NCAA Tournament
Reader Comments (1)
I think you are missing the biggest reason why so many people like to get behind Cinderella's. It's that our brackets are busted beyond all hope, and if the teams we picked can't get the job done then why not go with the ultimate David against all the Goliath's?
I am hoping for a Cornell/Northern Iowa final. And I'm saying that with both my picks for the final still in it.. I don't care! Cinderella's all the way!