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Tuesday
Aug172010

Dustin's Dust Bin = Dumb And Dumber?

Dustin Johnson

By JOHN McINTOSH
One Great Season

When Roberto De Vicenzo signed his improper score card at the 1968 Masters, I was just a kid learning to play golf. My dad and I watched it together and after that ruling he explained it to me. I thought the game was stupid and almost walked away from it. Problem was, I could hit the golf ball better than my friends and I was getting pretty good at age 12.

When Dustin Johnson screwed up late in Sunday's final round of the PGA Championship, I tried to explain the rules to my wife and felt a lot like my dad.

"That's just stupid," she said Sunday.

"That's just stupid," littly Johnny said back in 1968.

John Sr. and John Jr. responded to each in the same way:

"Those are the rules. Everybody knows them and they all play by them. They're the same for everybody no matter how stupid they are, and that's how the game is played."

But still, let's just call the ruling (both, actually, and let's add the Davis Love rule) "Dumb and Dumber."


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When galleries walk through a sand trap, it's wasted and should be called a "Waste Bunker." I caddied in the 1974 PGA and the caddies whose golfers failed to make the cut on Friday were assigned to rake traps on Saturday and Sunday. And the traps -- called traps for a reason -- were all inside the ropes. I think things might be a little more sophisticated now but if you don't rake a trap during any tournament at any level, it's unconscionable.

If you've ever played on any of Jack Nicklaus' designs or a Pete Dye course in Myrtle Beach, where Dustin Johnson now lives, you drive your cart through posted waste bunkers for hundreds of yards. But for some reason the rules tend to change when you're on a Dye course. I call his tracks Carnival Golf. Personally, I refuse to play any more Pete Dye courses, including The Ocean Course at Kiawah Island, and the USGA and the PGA should too.

Wanna play a true links design? First, go to Great Britain and play any of the old courses where the Opens are played. Second, if you want to stay in the U.S., head out to Long Island and play Montauk Downs or Carmel, Calif., and play Pebble Beach. All of these courses, even the ones in Great Britain, are available for public play.

None of them have stupid rules but you do have to read the "Local Rules" on the back of the scorecard to know what's what.

Sorry you and your caddy didn't read the local rules posted on your locker, Dustin. They were probably also listed on the back of your scorecard that was in your pocket.

But now everyone will be a little more heads-up when they are playing a competitive round. So thanks for that, Dustin. You haven't heard of anyone signing an incorrect scorecard since Roberto's incident and I doubt you will hear of any more tournament players grounding their clubs where they shouldn't, and that's not a Tiger joke.

Not being allowed to test the sand with your club is a pretty stupid rule, too, when you think about it. But, it speeds up play, and besides, you can test the sand with your feet, so I gotta go with it.

McIntosh is a New York-based writer and publisher of the McIntosh Golf Guides.

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