7 Things We Don't Want To See In 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011 at 12:59PM 
By JOHN P. WISEOne Great Season
Typically around the turn of a new year, scribes like to share what they'd like to see in sports during the upcoming calendar.
Some do it seriously, others take a humorous approach. Today's lesson, kids, is a serious look at what we don't want to see in sports in 2011.
+ Chris Berman — I know this is a lot to ask for, especially right off the bat, but I don't think I know anyone who likes him. His yawny nicknames, John Facenda impressions, repetitive classic-rock references and tiresome sound effects are older than his ill-chosen coat-and-tie pairings. Berman, we get it; you're the face of the biggest sports network's biggest sport. But that doesn't mean every Super Bowl wrap show needs to end with "what a long, strange trip it's been." Evidence that your age is catching up to you is your out-of-breath diatribes that make you sound more like Martin Short's Jiminy Glick character than an enthusiastic NFL show host. You're 55. Do something else.
YOUR THOUGHTS: What Do You Want To See Less Of In 2011?
+ Swagger — Actual swagger is fine by itself, but the endless talk about it by athletes and subsequently the groupie-reporters who cover them is something we would enjoy seeing far less of in 2011.
+ Beer commercials — Miller Lite's "Man Up" campaign makes the blood boil for many reasons. First, the commercials are ubiquitous. Second, there are too many of them. The most recent "Skinny Jeans" ad makes eight of them. EIGHT OF THEM! Lastly, they are so formulaic and poorly done, rife with dialogue that would never take place in the real world. Not exaggerating here; it's one of the worst campaigns we remember seeing.
+ "Myself" — Funny how our culture rails on athletes who speak about themselves in the third person. Yet it's probably a better option considering they get it wrong every time they try to speak in the first person. It would just be nice if they learned how to use the word properly, and especially less frequently.
+ Endless Super Bowl pregame drivel — As if the two weeks between Championship Sunday and Super Bowl Sunday don't turn over every possible story, once the big day finally arrives, ESPN and the game's broadcasting network then feel the need to give us six more hours of paralysis by analysis. Ooooh, I wonder who Nick Lachey is going to pick this year.
+ February Whore Syndrome — Tired of a quiet existence indoors all winter, one out of every one groupie is affected by this strain of seasonal affective disorder. Common treatments are Super Bowl weekend and NBA All-Star weekend two weeks later. "Doctors" are expected to be particularly busy in Dallas and Los Angeles next month.
+ Lou Holtz — There are plenty of likeable ESPN personalities. And Holtz is likeable. He's the crazy grandfather who leads the conversation at the Thanksgiving table. But lispy, mush-mouthed, biased insights do not a broadcaster make. Many times he knows what he's talking about, but the same could be said for someone half his age who speaks clearly and is more objective.
2011 Forecast, Lists
Reader Comments (2)
I'm not sure, but I think there are more than eight of those crappy Man Up commercials. Or maybe it just feels like there are 20.
houston?